Growth, committed mirrors, space holding, family, witnessing each other, tradition, acceptance and deepening ourselves were but a few gems brought forth from the collective process.
Once again we had two very different discussions on ‘partnership’. The first meeting we dived straight into the sticking parts of relationship; communication, triggers, wounds and how to navigate the uncomfortable and the mundane.
Patience and the ability to sit within discomfort combined with a foundation of love and willingness can enable us to pioneer forth into the personal development arena of relationship and partnership. Consequently delivering gold, fresh insight, love and respect for the person we share our lives, business or projects with. Although partnership includes many forms of relationship we seemed to follow a stream of thought more aligned with our personal and intimate partnerships.
The group offered thoughts of constructive feedback and persistent reassurance of the security and commitment which allows a space for the wounds to be unveiled, breath a little air and begin to heal.
Expressing our needs and boundaries were a consistent theme throughout the first conversation as well as being authentic. Getting lost within the relationship and not knowing where I end and you begin seemed to be omnipresent within most relationships/partnerships.
How do we maintain our autonomy? Do we need to and why?
This is where the second group seemed to place their attention. What is the difference between partnership and relationship? Most of the members of the second group, felt a closing, shrugging over their heart when asked what happens with the body when we speak of relationship. The fear of losing our independence was a strong theme. Yet there was one human who felt her shoulders fold back and her heart open upon the idea of relationship. When partnership was mentioned it delivered a different response in the body one in which facilitated a freedom of thought, communication and a collaboration towards a unified goal.
One human posed a question surrounding the difference between friendship and an intimate relationship. A friendship seems to have less conditions and can be less restricting, we can come and go and do what we please without needing to be accountable to the other. What changes with an intimate partnership? Why do we think the partner knows us so well even after a short period of time, that we get angry when our uncommunicated needs aren’t met? Are we lost in a love stupor, delusion or set of expectations that delivers a sense of security but sets us up for disappointment and criticism of the other. These expectations can then easily lead to an external locus of control in which we or our partner are seeking control or to change the other.
How do we navigate what we need to take on from our lovers and where our boundaries are?
We spoke of the role of having a community of authentic individuals surrounding the partnership that provide outlets for expression, a break from the intensity of partnership and a strong foundation to keep the partnership committed and move through the difficulties. This presents questions around the number of divorces at this time in society and could suggest the parallel break down of community and ecosystems could have had a part to play.
There are also more options now. Women are not housebound and are free to live the lives they wish to live without needing a husband to keep their basic needs supported. Yet allegedly single mothers these days are the most impoverished in our country and one human mentioned that breast-feeding in the early years makes up almost the same time of a full time job over the course of a year. Are there other options to support children outside of partnership?
Community, community, community!
Perhaps the era of the nuclear family is over, the family unit is vulnerable with almost every partnership having to hold down a full time job each, the child is raised by an institution; Daycare. Having tired and financially stressed parents you see 50% of time does not sound like a healthy way to raise a child. But perhaps daycare is no different to raising children within a community?
I would say it is totally different, a community has an accountability that is beyond a monetary value and sits within the heart of relationship. Being an uncle and living next to my niece I am lucky enough to shower my niece with love every time I see her. Imagine if the child grew up with many doting aunties and uncles who would be happy to take their little niece for a day so that mum and dad could restore themselves in some way, or invest some time in the partnership.
Just like many things in the world today, partnership is up on the chopping block getting a make over. What is your ideal partnership?
How do we create this community?
Tune into the human group to witness what our collective intelligence decides.