The human group - session 5 - the victim mentality and empowered meaning making.

Updated: Oct 6, 2019

A reflection

What are you a victim of?

Who is to blame?

When asking these questions in the check in nobody could really regard themselves as a victim.

Maybe it is a shadow expression; unconsciously playing?

The closest thing I could come up with in regards to being a victim was the economic pressure challenging my trust in myself, community and environment to provide me with support. Another human in the group resonated with this. I have previously blamed the economic system and the institutions that support and perpetuate it. Now I do my best to simply acknowledge the fear associated and carry on, however, I still make economic fear-based decisions.

One human went on to say that privilege is an oppressive attribute with the idea that those with money get more money while others less privileged are ill advantaged in economic success. Being a victim to privilege and blaming the privileged. How does this serve this person? Perhaps they have a convenient scape goat to project all their reasons for not attempting to be economically successful? Maybe they don’t acknowledge they own privilege, perhaps they feel guilty about?

The privileged also seem to have their own struggles, comfort and security induced sterility in areas of human experience, community and even life-skills. A desert of qualitative values. Having a financial buffering against any impetus from the pressure to work. Can impetus be found elsewhere? Financial impetus is lazy and detached from personal meaning making. Many retirees, especially men, often struggle to find meaning and purpose in their lives once they stop their jobs. (Why is this common to men and not women? Do women find purpose in relationship and community?) Perhaps money band-aids our need for purpose in a gamified point earning, mission completing, reward receiving way that is removed from the reality of things. Just like a video game.

The pain seems to be mirrored for both the privileged and under-privileged. Both are motivated by the rewards of being a victim. What are the rewards of being a victim? At first the humans said that there was no advantage, then more came forth; for comfort, security, laziness, fear of failure, conservatism, no accountability, relinquishing responsibility, a way out, avoiding risk, protection, not standing out or being open to criticism, hiding, etc.

Being the victim allows one to hide from the responsibility and opportunity of life. The externally poor blame the rich and the rich live poorly or are internally poor. Both parties attached to the rewards of the victim mentality, hiding away from engaging fully with life.

We went into the depths of the victim/blame mentality with the idea of marginalised groups, which paradoxically creates an inverted hierarchical structure. The marginalisation hierarchy; those who are the most oppressed have the biggest soapbox available to them and the oppressor most commonly recognised as the privileged white male is not worth listening to… This is called a revolution, where nothing changes it is just flipped on its head and the trauma is passed on to the next group. We can not dissolve discrimination, guilt, and trauma by discrimination, guilting and traumatising our assumed opposition or oppressor. This is not only true of individuals but of systems as well, we resist and they persist and system goes on living or is paused/traumatised in its own evolutionary process. This is called the Zeno effect in quantum physics (1).

Continual measurement and attention to a process slows the process down. Perhaps oppression will disappear as it drifts away from the spotlight of sensational mass media?

The oppressor/oppressed, victim/perpetrator, is all based on a competitive zero-sum game mentality in which there’s a loser and a winner. All stemming from a scarcity mentality. We are all losers playing this game, yet we see the other as the winner and we want what they have. We are jealous.

Therefore how can a dialogue be created to discover the common ground of scarcity that puppeteers it all; the rich and the poor? For as long as there are differentiated groups, and the continual trend of intersectionality we will have fearful assuming ideas of the ‘other’ and continue to compare ourselves from an unconscious scarcity mindset to justify our own indulgence in fear induced non-engagement with life.

This brings into question; abundance.

What is abundance?

The group started off saying that basic needs being met is abundance but what happens if our decision making processes come from a belief of abundance? Is abundance just a material thing or is this idea just an example of our material tunnel vision?

If our basic needs are met do we continue to want to have more and more? I believe we will, just look at wealthy corporations and individuals who seek to have more beyond excess. The more they have the more they want.

The scarcity mentality is not solved by having. ‘Having’ seems to exacerbate the feeling of scarcity and ‘not having’ seems to do the opposite. Money blinds the world of the reality of abundance.

So how can we grow the abundance mindset, dispel this notion of competition and fear around the other to all become winners and complement each other with our differences?

Within the human group we discovered that gratitude, taking risks, community, relationships and acting from the abundance mindset all facilitate a collaborative abundance in our reality.

What would you do if you lived in abundance?


1.The Zeno Effect -

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